Adopted War Babe - part 9

I have lots of emotions running through my head today.  I feel so grateful for my life and how I was brought up.  Not that it would have been better or worse if I had not been adopted, it just would have been different. I think my parents tried to bring me up to be refined. Not uppity, or spoiled, but I have toured Europe, seen castles, eaten at fine restaurants, and taught the right silverware, glasses and wines to go with a meal (not that I use any of that, I am much more of a simple person!!  Paper plates and plastic silverware and glasses are fine by me!!)  We were not rich, not by any means, but my parents were just so frugal and sensible with everything. Neither of them finished college but both had some college. I guess being a military family, there was just a right way to do everything. From setting a table, to keeping things neat and clean around the house.

My birth mother was from a local farm around the Army base.  She had to quit school in the seventh grade in order to work on the farm because her father and brothers had gone off to war and all the women had to take over on the farm. If she had kept me, and stayed in Germany, would I have been brought up on her farm?  I don't know since she ended up with another child just two years later and kept him, my half brother, Art (Bob to his family), and then she married her youngest child's father, Russ, five years later, and moved to the United States.

Which brings up another point in my mind. She married a man named Russell, Russ to his family.  My birth father's name (well, my suspected birth father at this point) was also Russell, known as Russ to his family as well.  She told me, and apparently her family after I barged into her life, that she could not remember his name.  I am so sure she would have remembered his name if it had been the same as her husband!  Am I right?  So, either she didn't want me to find him (which looks like the truth regardless) or it isn't this suspected Russ after all.

Which brings me to my birth father's family. I am so very overwhelmed at the multiple responses I have gotten from the family so far!  It is a bit surreal and at times, well, overwhelming seems to be the word of the day.  I have video chatted with an uncle, (use Marco Polo... it is AWESOME!!

and messaged daily with at least three first cousins and a half-brother at this point!  All are excited and hoping that I am Russ's daughter.  I have even connected with other various 3rd, 4th etc cousins since then as well.  I KNOW that all adoption stories do not turn out this way, but mine seems to be. As I have said, we are waiting on the Ancestry test of the suspected half-brother at this point to prove our suspicions.  We are all so sure it will prove to be true.  However, I guess I try to not have expectations.  I have learned the hard way in my life, that expectations are only premeditated resentments.  That's become my motto. I can hope for things, plan for things in case, but I have learned to NOT expect things to go a certain way, or for a person to act a certain way.  It just isn't worth it if something or something disappoints you. Maybe that is why I am so easy going, because when things happen I just deal with them as they are, not as I would like for them to be.  Makes sense to me anyway.

If I had been brought to the states with my suspected birth father, Russ, things, I am learning, would have been quite different for me.  Like I said, not better or worse, just different.  I would have more than likely been brought up in some very small towns where everyone knew everyone.  I would have had a huge extended family, which by the way is awesome!  I would have been in a family that liked jokes and lots of laughter, which was quite a bit different for me, since I was an only child and often told I was too easily amused!  (I guess I laughed at times they thought were inappropriate?, not sure)
We always had to travel either across the ocean or across the country to see the few relatives that I did grow up with (Mom had one sister, and Dad had one sister and one brother). Where as if I had been with the birth family, there would be so many cousins and aunts and uncles, and you only had to walk to someone's house to see them for the most part!

Again, I am not saying one is better or worse than the other, just different.  I love my life as it is, and sometimes, I think I have a good story to tell!